If you've ever peeped out of a window or through the blinds at the neighbors, looked out of your peephole because you heard voices, eavesdropped while waiting in line, placed a glass up to a wall to hear, or even held an envelope up to the light; chances are, you're nosey. But then again, who isn't these days. Everyone has had a nosey neighbor or two, but Birdie Abrams and Alfreda Johnson certainly didn't consider themselves as nosey. It was their obligated duty to keep up with the events and activities of their neighborhood. These two didn't skip a beat knowing the latest gossip, but Birdie Abrams will soon have to face the music when the topic of gossip becomes her. Can she do damage control before anyone finds out? Join in on the latest gossip by reading one hilarious tale after the other.
“Ooowee Walt! You ought to see ‘em go. Necks rolling, fingers pointing, and tongue justa waggin’ Look at ‘em, just cussing up a storm,” Birdie Abrams told her husband, who could have cared less. “Walt! Walt! Are you listening to me?” She asked, still peeping through the curtains.
“Yeah, I hear you, Birdie,” he answered, still not caring. “Birdie, you had better come out of that window before someone throws a brick in here and smack you upside the head with it. Back in my day, that’s how we took care of nosey neighbors.”
“Humph, I wish somebody would,” she declared, rolling her eyes. “This is my window, in my house!” I can look out of it, and even go outside if I wanted to. They’re the ones outside his mama’s house acting a dang fool, and causing a scene. Look at ‘em. It don’t make no kind of sense for them two girls to be fussing over somebody who ain’t worth two dead flies at a funeral. Just a shame before the Master if you ask me.”
“That’s just it Birdie, don’t nobody ever ask you,” Walter Abrams mumbled under his breath.
Birdie gave Walter the hardest eye roll she could muster. What she didn't understand is how he could care so little about what was going on across the street. She felt it was her duty as a citizen to look out for her neighbors. He’d always been that way. If it didn't take place within his four walls, appeared in the newspaper, on that TV, down at the barbershop, or in Deacon meeting, he could care less. I betcha if you asked him who robbed Peter and then shot Paul, he could tell you that word for word. But something as simple as what was going on right now, across the street from his house, he wouldn't stop reading the paper long enough to come and see it. Go figure, she thought. “I still don't know why I should have to stop looking out of my window,” she said, continuing to peep through the curtains. “We’ve been living on this street longer than those loud mouths out there have been alive, and I have a right to keep up with the activities on this street.”
“And the next street, and the next street, and the street after that one,” He said.
“We all have to work together to keep our neighborhood safe, Walter.”
“Um-hmm, and what part of spying on the neighbors is keeping the neighborhood safe, Birdie?” He asked, still looking at his paper.
“That’s a matter of opinion, Walter. I’m just doing the neighborly thing since we don’t have a neighborhood watch.”
“Whatever you say, Dear.” Walter knew not to waste any more of his precious time arguing with Birdie since she was going to do what she wanted to anyway, so why fuss?
“Anyway, Natalie would be devastated to know her son was out here carrying on like this. Outside of his poor mama’s house too.” “What a shame. And what makes this so crazy, he don’t even live there. Now, why couldn’t he have taken this mess to his neighborhood,?” Birdie asked.
“Because if he had, then you wouldn’t have anybody to peep on,” Her husband mumbled behind his paper.
“You are really trying my patience today, Walter Abrams. No, that’s not it.” She snapped back. “It’s just he just knows better. Those people wouldn’t dare put up with this type of foolishness in their upscale neighborhood, so why bring it over here?”
March 7th, 2020
2:00 p.m. - 4:00 p.m.
Homewood Public Library
Address: 1721 Oxmoor Road
Homewood, Al 35209